This morning I confess I went a little crazy. Howard and I were still trying to pull together our book proposal for the Next Top Spiritual Author contest and it felt like we are running out of time. Round 2 started last Monday and we were already 3 days overdue. For our book “Feel Great Naked” we needed a brief description, an outline, author bios, a marketing plan, a review of complementary titles and a written chapter.
We argued over every phrase. He wrote something. I corrected it. He corrected it. Our friends with editing skills corrected it. He wrote some more. I added something. He corrected it. On and on. My inspiration was fading.
This morning when he insisted that we had to stop all these edits and just get our book proposal uploaded to the contest website, I lost it. “It’s not good enough yet!” I said.
Howard was getting irritated with me. “What do you want?” he shouted.
I shouted back. “Joy first!”
A grin spread over his face as he caught the absurdity of those beautiful words spoken with utter frustration.
He slammed his fist onto my desk and “Joy First. Damn it!” he shouted,
And we both burst out laughing.
Barely able to talk now from laughing so hard, he shouted “Are we having fun yet?”
Here we were so derailed by our search for perfection and our sense of urgency that we forgot why we were doing this in the first place.
It was time to get back on track.
I told him I wanted a time-out to meditate and soothe my stressful thoughts.
“OK. OK. OK.” I said to myself as I headed to my meditation chair.
Soothing. Soothing. Soothing my stressful thoughts.
We are where we are and it’s OK. At least we are in this together and we have the ability to laugh at ourselves. Round 2 is five weeks long. There is really no urgency about this. One or two days more won’t be a big deal. Everything is right on schedule.
Then a brilliant idea. Why not write about this for my blog while the experience was still fresh. The insights kept coming.
Silly me. I forgot about the joy that I am and what I really want.
Nothing is so important that it is worth dragging me down like this. At times, I’d been letting this book proposal project suck the life force out of me. And when I do that, I’ve unplugged from my connection to Source. I’ve tuned out the only voice that matters – the voice of my Divine Self.
So I decided to meditate and calm my mind and create my day anew.
A short while later, as I was sitting relaxed in my meditation chair, Howard came into my office and kissed me on my neck. “I love you,” he said.
The world was looking brighter already.